Mental health
_why do I care about mental health?
I only started paying attention to my mental health after 2020. There were many reasons why - cultural, personal, societal. I was trained and I trained myself not to dwell much on my emotions and go on with life by being strong. I don't remember many conversations with my family or close friends about how we feel, why etc. - even after me having traumatic events, I didn't talk much to anyone.
This started changing in 2020 - when I was 35. Thanks to covid-19 and all the trauma that came out of it + some follow-up events, such as my first [severe and acknowledged] burnout. In 2021 was the first time I went to a psychologist. It was also when I moved to Rotterdam and started my master's programme there. I found myself in a group of amazing and heartwarming people who taught me a great deal about sharing and having real talk. During my first steps in this journey, I had the need to illustrate and map some of the things I was researching about my mental health. I guess, I also needed to share.
_projects & works
mental pain
_series of 3 illustrations depicting the 3 stages of the burnout I went through between March and May 2021 _digital illustrations, 2021 // Sofia, BG
I: clouds in the head
the first piece illustrates how my worries started to feel much heavier and they were breaking my focus, making me think and feel quite grim
II: cough
the second work depicts the second phase I was going through, still not recognising the alarming signs - I was coughing a lot and it was connected to the moments when I felt more anxious
III: no air
the last phase of the burnout ended with neuralgia - the pain was so strong that it didn't allow me to take a deep breath. I waited for a few hours hoping it will fade out, but since it didn't get any better, I started to worry that I might get a heart attack - that crazy strong and scary it was. After going to the hospital, it turned out to be neuralgia and the pain lasted for 10 days - it took that long until I could breathe normally again.
The illustrations were published in the first, second and third issues of the "Podslon" magazine.
the thousand-foot journey
_mapping emotions and anxieties while slowly moving to a new country _digital illustration, graphic design, 2021 // Sofia, Budapest, Schiavi di Abruzzo, Vienna, Munich, Aachen, The Hague and Rotterdam
In 2021 I travelled more than 5500 km around Europe. I got to test how is it to pass so many borders after a year of travel difficulties, restrictions and worries. Also, since I have flying anxiety, hopping on a plane was out of the question for me at that time. It was also while I was recovering from severe burnout.
What a journey it was! Full of emotions - anxiety, excitement, fear, happiness… Each stop was filled with those and therefore, I coloured them. To see them. My journey is depicted as tree branches, growing to the final destination of my trip - Rotterdam. Or it is a spilled ink on the map… Or something else that you see?
accepting rotterdam
10 illustrations, created as a diary of ten phases I experienced when moving to a new city. The works were digitally drawn, and then computer processed with various effects. Their animated versions were available on NFT. However, after a while I became more critical of the way NFT worked for art [but not only], thus I didn't reactivate their listing. A few months later, I turned the illustrations and poems into a zine publication, that was printed in 20 copies. Some of them are still available.
10 digital and processed illustrations A5 zine, digital print 01_ arrival is also available on an A3 riso prints & A6 postcards
Zine's introduction:
During the last three years, I have been moving in every 5-6 months. Whatever I did, when the fifth month comes near, something happened so I needed to move to another place. Living as a nomad has its perks, but it is also quite bizarre to always think about “let’s not get this with me because it will be more of a hassle to move it next time”. My latest move was from Sofia to nowhere (because I was travelling for 2 months around Europe without a home) and then to Rotterdam. Here is my diary of the first months after I moved to the Netherlands.
I compiled 10 illustrations and 10 poems. Size is A5. Self-published. Rotterdam, 2022.
▶▶ you can purchase the zine online here ▶▶ 01_arrival - see the illustration here ▶▶ 01_arrival on A3 riso print is here & on my online shop