Mental health

_why do I care about mental health?

I only started paying attention to my mental health after 2020. There were many reasons why - cultural, personal, societal. I was trained and I trained myself not to dwell much on my emotions and go on with life by being strong. I don't remember many conversations with my family or close friends about how we feel, why etc. - even after me having traumatic events, I didn't talk much to anyone.

This started changing in 2020 - when I was 35. Thanks to covid-19 and all the trauma that came out of it + some follow-up events, such as my first [severe and acknowledged] burnout. In 2021 was the first time I went to a psychologist. It was also when I moved to Rotterdam and started my master's programme there. I found myself in a group of amazing and heartwarming people who taught me a great deal about sharing and having real talk. During my first steps in this journey, I had the need to illustrate and map some of the things I was researching about my mental health. I guess, I also needed to share.

_projects & works

mental pain

mental pain: I, II & II, digital illustration, 2021

_series of 3 illustrations depicting the 3 stages of the burnout I went through between March and May 2021
_digital illustrations, 2021 // Sofia, BG

I: clouds in the head
the first piece illustrates how my worries started to feel much heavier and they were breaking my focus, making me think and feel quite grim

II: cough
the second work depicts the second phase I was going through, still not recognising the alarming signs - I was coughing a lot and it was connected to the moments when I felt more anxious

III: no air
the last phase of the burnout ended with neuralgia - the pain was so strong that it didn't allow me to take a deep breath. I waited for a few hours hoping it will fade out, but since it didn't get any better, I started to worry that I might get a heart attack - that crazy strong and scary it was. After going to the hospital, it turned out to be neuralgia and the pain lasted for 10 days - it took that long until I could breathe normally again.

the thousand-foot journey

the thousand-foot journey, digital artwork, 2021

▶▶ see the artwork here

_mapping emotions and anxieties while slowly moving to a new country
_digital illustration, graphic design, 2021 // Sofia, Budapest, Schiavi di Abruzzo, Vienna, Munich, Aachen, The Hague and Rotterdam

In 2021 I travelled more than 5500 km around Europe. I got to test how is it to pass so many borders after a year of travel difficulties, restrictions and worries. Also, since I have flying anxiety, hopping on a plane was out of the question for me at that time. It was also while I was recovering from severe burnout.

What a journey it was! Full of emotions - anxiety, excitement, fear, happiness… Each stop was filled with those and therefore, I coloured them. To see them. My journey is depicted as tree branches, growing to the final destination of my trip - Rotterdam. Or it is a spilled ink on the map… Or something else that you see?